Contrasts in Parenting - For Better or Worse

Any parent who tells their child that the other parent wanted to murder them (abortion) should be placed immediately in supervised visitation for child abuse. The intentional cruelty and malevolence is difficult to accept and nearly impossible to forgive.

Parents who justify this type of emotional and mental abuse by calling it "truth-telling" are dangerous to their children.

Contrast this behavior with that of a parent who posted a warning about a movie last night. She parents a 5 year old and warned other parents that The Good Dinosaur may contain content that is too emotionally sad for the young child to process.

Contrast these two parenting behaviors in the context of good parenting.

The parent's responsibility is to protect, nurture and teach the child so that the child feels safe, secure and confident.

The first behavior is designed to impair the child's sense of safety, security, and trust. The second behavior is that of a parent who feels that she let her child down by exposing him to the content in a G-rated movie that was too emotionally challenging.

I hope that any parent who has talked to their child about the desire of the other parent to abort them will talk to that child again and do this:

Tell the child you were wrong to tell them.

Tell the child that you told them so you could hurt the other parent.

Tell the child that you wanted them to choose to love only you and that was selfish and hurtful.

Tell the child that Mom and Dad were not being very kind to one another when they found out about the pregnancy and that both had a difficult time loving each other.

Tell the child that it wasn't the child that was unwanted.

Tell the child that it was cruel of you to put that kind of pressure and responsibility on a child when grown-ups have a very difficult time dealing with it.

Tell the child you love them just the way they are, that they have every right to be here, that it is not their fault that they have a parent who is not kind or thoughtful or loving.

Tell the child you were wrong and you will work very hard to be a better parent.

Then get some help for yourself to be a better parent and a better coparent. Your children deserve better.