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Thursday, April 7, 2016

Parent-Child Reunification for School Age 6-9


This begins the age of empathy and moral understanding. It is also a stage where sadness prevails in situations of loss.
As children this age continue to tr and make sense of their world they do so through the eyes of compassion and empathy. These children deeply grieve the loss of a parent and miss them terribly. Developmentally children this age work hard to please their parents and would rather put themselves in the middle of a conflict that take a side.
When exposed to conflict, these children understand the basic content of arguments -- which are almost always about money or the kids. Given their age, these children will blame themselves for the argument. They might think "if it wasn't for me my parents wouldn't be getting a divorce/separation." When children watch the two people they trust to make their life safe fight, it's as if they are at sea without a life vest.
Signs of distress in children this age are often physical -- headaches, tummy aches, leg pain. Some children might go back to bedwetting. If you see any of these signs consider slowing down the pace of the family restructuring, or getting additional therapeutic help.
Children who are school age need their energy and focus for the huge lessons they are learning in every area of life as they explore and experience. Don't allow your inability to be good and cooperative coparents to take away your child's spontaneity and joy.

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