This is a physically demanding time of care-taking for the custodial parent. Consider a structure that allows you to participate in the many levels of care including feeding, bathing, soothing, settling to sleep and all the other dailies of life.
If the returning parent lacks the experience and skills in these areas then ask for help from the custodial parent, a family member or friend, read books and take an infant parenting skills class.
For infants, multiple short visits during the week are best. Babies up until the age of three can have difficulty being away from their primary caretaker for long periods of time. Infants are like sponges absorbing everything in their environment. Thus it is critical that parents provide a soothing, safe, loving, responsive atmosphere. If conflict and tension exist your child will feel that tension inside of themselves.
Pay attention to signs that your infant is experiencing distress, including whining, clinginess, and fussiness that doesn't go away with soothing, as well as changes in eating and sleeping habits. Your chances of a successful visit increase if you can keep your child's eating and sleeping schedules close to what they are in the other parent's home.
Understand that beginning around age 6 months children naturally experience anxiety when leaving their primary caretaker. So if initial visits have your infant clinging on to the other parent's leg for dear life, don't assume they don't want to have anything to do with you and don't assume that the parent is doing anything to cause the behavior!
What should you do if your infant throws a fit when leaving the other parent/ Get tips from the primary parent about what helps calm the child down they s/he is stressed. Consider having a transitional object, like a blanket or favorite toy, which goes back and forth with the child.
If you are the returning parent, you need to be in shape for a marathon as your infant becomes a toddler. Around 18 months of age healthy children naturally seek independence. They explore their world by getting into everything and will need a lot of supervision during this time. Keeping up with a curious toddlers can be exhausting!
Both parents need to focus on the child's needs! Cooperation and collaboration is absolutely essential for the task of raising a healthy and happy child. Make sure your adult issues are resolved because your child needs peaceful and pleasant coparents!
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